The turnaround..

So, I got another job in the end, a writing job. Which will give me more time at home. That's important as a mother and as a woman. 

I went up to Edinburgh and had a handover, thus missing the Tory Party Conference. Well frankly, I'm not sorry. Its all about what they did to Boris. Looking back at the people who I first mixed with, I see they were MPs back in 1966. They are dead now but they taught me so much, firstly vicariously and then, directly. I was a lucky girl and there is a structure and model of behaviour that has lead to the Conservative party being the oldest and most successful political party in the entire world. Although when we compare it to Catholicism, there is a little bit of difference in the longevity, you'd have to say! 

I'm noticing a bit of an uprising in Christianity, people are giving off signs, wearing the cross is just one. Perhaps its a fashion statement or a protest against Islam but more likely I think young people are searching out other young people who believe in God. 

The more this world departs from the morals of old, the easier it is to cut through. That doesn't explain it but you'll know what I mean. 

October is the month of the rosary and that's something which has always interested me. Someone sent me a book on it which I'm really enjoying. Also, I'm keeping up with the Pray as You Go app and am sharing the word with others. 

Other developments include, the start of another online retreat, this time three weeks with two meetings a week. I wonder what that will bring. 

I've also listened to Mother Theresa's Nobel Prize speech from 1979 which had a very interesting aspect regarding abortion. This is a topic I always stay away from, mostly because people are highly emotive on it and also because like most things these days it appears to have become far more about 'having a choice' than the actual consequences of either. 

She spoke that parents are afraid of the unborn child. That they don't want to feed or educate another child so it must die. I played this to my daughter who said it depends on the circumstances. She's thirteen, its a different world today. At least it made her think. 

I guess both the church and the party both have a strong yearning for the past. 

Personally I seem to be in a very different future, although I thought I was happy in my previous job,  I wasn't. I was happy in the trade and the industry which I do love but day two at this new position serves only to highlight the dysfunction previously experienced. 

Never have I ever had a problem at work before. Not like that, where it spills into my home life and makes me confused and unhappy. 

I have been this religious before and there's no doubt it has helped me through as I say, the worst time of my life. Course I was only out of work for two months. Seemed forever. Oh the shame, the injustice, the not knowing, etc etc. 

Nevermind all that, its changed me. I'm definitely more relaxed now, so much better in myself and better in every sense really. 

I will miss filming and photography but will find ways to incorporate it. Have returned to the gym, that's very good discipline and exceptionally rewarding, clears the mind. I go very early in the morning. Get it over with. Then its done. 

Am glad to have a got a job and although the pay isn't great, when combined with my sponsorship its not too bad really. 

So I guess all the prayers paid off. Not that we pray just for reward but it does tend to work that way. But then, we most likely pray harder when times are difficult. Its certainly helped to get me through. 

Never like to ask for things but I do feel having the church and things gives more of a focus on what is truly important. Plus its self development and making time to rest. I keep telling everyone that the ten minutes a day on the pray as you go app, its like taking acid. Just takes you to another world for a bit.

Having scripture to close to hand again also gives a greater sense of analysis and comparison with situations in todays world. Much of it nonsense. Hence my preference for silence and being a bit of a loner. 

I'm really enjoying this book about the rosary we haven't actually got to the rosary bit but I'm loving how it's going through the miracles. 

I think I'll be really happy in this life and spending more time at home with my family who I love just so much and keeping house.