Getting through the door.

​Firstly, I'm not completely on my own. Somebody has "got me through the door". I first enquired because I intended to take my Ukrainian guest there and did so. Prior to that, the heady heights of the Catholic Church were miles out of reach for the likes of me. 

Our first visit a few weeks ago didn’t please me greatly. Mostly because of my own perceptions, which is  generally the cause of disappointment. And disappointed I was. Having initially hoped to brush up on my Latin, in candlelight of course. 

I suppose I thought the priests would all be hooded black and red with gold bands and swinging round  frankincense within engraven golden spheres in time with the church bells. I thought the congregation would all be chanting and rocking and that the choir well I don’t know what I thought about the choir but I can tell you it was dreadful. Which is a shame because church music can be so wonderfully uplifting.  

So as I say my first impressions weren’t great.  the singing was dreadful and when I say dreadful I mean dreadful.  The priest was black which meant I couldn’t tell what he was saying and the doors were open and there was the sound of the traffic. I didn’t get a great deal out of the service  As for trying to follow the order of service, what I actually clutched in my hand was the newsletter! 

Curiously, they were selling bacon sandwiches afterwards. An unusual choice I thought what with the whole pork thing it didn't really seem appropriate so no I wasn’t drawn to the place the first time. Hopefully you understand why. 

To me, the Catholic Church was somehow always so secretive and impossible to get into. Unless you were   either Irish and skint or very white and well to do. I’m neither of those things although comparatively I don’t do badly but in my heart I feel I have yet to achieve the bracket of even working class not that class matters.

Our nearest Catholic Church is conveniently located at the end of the road that runs along the top of our street, which already tells you something. 

Here is the kind advice sent to me by Mr Spangle. I hope it helps you too. 

I know it can be a bit intimidating going into an unfamiliar Church but it's really very easy. Take masks with you, just in case they're still wearing them in Church, and don't expect the sign of peace - before communion - to be a hand shake or for holy water - with which you bless yourself by dipping your fingers in the water and making the sign of the cross when you enter the Church to remind you of your baptism - to be available when - both were suspended during the pandemic and may not have been reinstated.

Here are some tips for your first visit:

• Go to the 10 am Mass on Sunday - it's the main parish Mass and likely to be more lively and better attended than the others.

• Dress: smart casual, Mass will last for about an hour.

• Get there 10 - 15 minutes early, you don't want to arrive after the Mass has begun and it's useful to have a brief time to say a prayer or two and prepare for Mass.

• When you enter your pew, bow to the tabernacle, where the consecrated bread is kept behind the altar, or genuflect - go down briefly on your right knee - you'll see others doing this.

• Sit a few pews back from the front. You want to be able to see what's going on around the altar, but you also want to see when your neighbours stand, sit or kneel and copy them.

• There will be much that's unfamiliar, don't worry about it, there should be a Mass leaflet that gives you the words to say and a hymn book for the hymns - ask for them if they're not obvious. Focus on what's being said by the priest and others which will mean you're more involved and don't bother if you lose your place in the leaflet - you'll find it again soon enough, but don't let the leaflet distract you from what's actually happening.

• Communion is for those in communion with the Church - Catholics, including Greek Catholics and Orthodox. As a Protestant you can either stay in your place during communion or go up with others placing your right hand on your left shoulder. That will tell the priest that you want a blessing and is very normal - you'll see lots of others doing it. 

• Have some money, loose change with you for the collection - though it won't matter if you don't contribute - for lighting a candle if you wish, and for coffee if you choose to attend afterwards. 

• After Mass, if you have time, light a candle, say a prayer and take a moment to appreciate the art around you.

The Mass is two thousand years old and is based on Jewish worship that goes even further back.  It contains the elements that St Peter and St Paul would recognise if they came back to earth today. It's spiritually and theologically dense and multi-layered, full of symbolism, tradition and meaning. There are lots of resources on the web on what the Mass is, but I thought this short film "The Veil Removed" visually summed up what Catholics believe is the miraculous and sacred nature of Mass. See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOLZDaTgIaM