From Conservatism to Catholicism

 Normally I read on a Saturday morning in Church, the local tory WhatsApp group has been going mad with everyone meeting to deliver leaflets. It occurred to me today FromConservativismtoCatholicism - it really has been for me. There's been a lot of change in the party. We have a new leader now, Kemi Badenoch. An outspoken Nigerian lady. As I've said before, loyalty was always our secret weapon. It's not so much that it hasn't remained a secret but more, sadly, that there is no loyalty. With this in mind she has my full support. I'll not give up church to campaign but will try and do a bit more to support the candidates locally. I interviewed them because I sit on the selection committee there's also more to tell about the party nationally but I'll come onto that  A great deal has happened these last six months. I've met someone. Life is wonderful really.  We met whilst out shooting, a time I feel so close to God, out in the natural world that humans have...

 Yes he's gone. Never liked him, smug, self satisfied man. That said, I never met him. There's very few opportunities to utter the phrase 'Good riddance to bad rubbish' and I certainly didn't want to miss one.  Interesting he only appeared to mention Jesus as an after thought and never uttered an apology in his resignation letter.  Here it is in case you missed it or are coming across this post years later

 A lot has happened, mostly I was struggling at home and at work. Angry at myself for lack of motivation, having the time to do more housework and renovation than ever before and yet down I was spiralling.  As for my parenting, I was on the brink, keen to lead by example, keeping calm, consistent, everything you should do, whilst reassuring myself this couldn't possibly continue. There was not even a good section of the day we could manage, my daughter and I. Those times seem so long ago now. I prayed, mostly not knowing what for but was on my knees many a time.  It took a while but those prayers were answered. I really am proud of her. She still takes the mick about me and there's a healthy amount of humour but nothing insulting or truly blasphemous.  So very fortunate am I and always did treasure dearly mine and my daughters relationship. Now we do all sorts together like we did and am finally happy to put a lot of things down to 'her age' furthermore at least we h...

Life has been amazing at St Hugh's Catholic Church. The whole thing has been really. I stopped because the blog I didn't want to call into the potential trap of using religion only to inform my writing. It has to be something you feel. I do and have and as a consequence can write far more about the journey. It’s knowing just where to start.  I’m in at least. Fully confirmed and committed as a member of the Catholic Church. Unexpectedly I confessed three big things beforehand. One that I never think of - from twenty years ago, one continual and more recent sin and another being a former incident. None of these weigh particularly on my mind but I knew if I didn’t confess them I would come to regret it. Things needed to be done properly this end.  Father Eddy was excellent, glossed nicely over things and I was in for the Maundy Thursday feet washing. I put my name down but mistaken cast myself as the humble Jesus without realising of course, the priest plays Jesus so I ended up o...

 I’d quite forgotten about that.What a wipeout. Where I am, we have been facing the threat of the unitary authority and so bizarrely authorities started teaming up with their neighbours, thus hastening it. Anyway there was all sorts of talk and a lot of the district leaders joined the County Council and then on that fateful first Thursday in May three heads rolled. Three leader's seats gone. 

 Holy Saturday, what a day. What a service. My lass came with two of her friends and Nick who was inappropriately loud and set them in to a giggling fit. It was Stickers I felt sorry for, those three, all those candles, paper, long hair. What a pressure cooker.  The Deacon, John Wilford sang a huge great big long and tuneful solo. There was candlelight all around, it was wonderful.  There were five of us, from the class, and we lined up. Noel was my sponsor, he does the bingo calling, told me a) I'd never have to worry about anything ever again and b) it took him 46 years to convert and he'd been attending the Catholic Church all that time!  I was in charge of carrying the wine and Anna put it in my hand and said, 'not too quickly' so I slowly walked down what I can only describe as the aisle - Father Eddy was ahead of me, almost as if on a ship, I could see everyone behind him, it was wonderful and all in candlelight, it really was a special moment that.  Here'...

This has been briefly and very well touched on in the RCIA group i.e. 'Church school'. I have a way of explaining it, almost like we become a version of the Holy Spirit, apparently we will have a glorious body but of course, there will be no time. This is the thing that can be difficult to grasp. There is no time.  Was there ever? I know in the Bible, when it talked of hurling Satan out of Heaven and all his angels down with him, they do bad things knowing they don't have much time.  Not been writing much, lots of work, not all of it good, still constantly reevaluating my life, not getting to daily mass. Will have more time now.  Its a curious thing that the harder life gets, the closer one is to God. Even those that profess to be of no faith have no problem calling to the heavens in a time of need. I think that's a good thing.  I'm thinking a lot about ministry work. I don't think I can because I'm a girl. Also, the best way to bring people near to God is j...

When you are fitting a lot in, especially going away at the weekends, you don’t need to miss Mass. After all, it is only an hour. Let’s face it, the service is the same wherever you go. So the difference is purely circumstantial, and architectural.  Two huge differences adnuttedly, which change the entire feel of it. And yet, cement the important parts. I think spreading geographically and gaining experience at other churches deepens the faith rather than broadens it. Which is surely the aim, We need always to go deeper before we can go further.  The difference between the Church of England and Catholicism is profound. One simply can’t imagine going  This week its the first week of Advent. I’ve always detested Christmas but this year is going to be so different. Perhaps it’s a deep rooted jealousy of families all getting together - I don’t really think it’s that. More likely, I just got sick of people complaining about their families when I would have loved a brother or s...

 The RCIA  So I've started and will let you know how it finishes... 

 Thankfully I still have my online prayer retreat with St Beunos. Veronica has been wonderful and really helped me to focus on what matters.  This Jesuit way of going on is really very good you know. If only for the fact it is a real break. You have to believe, of course you do. But that's all.  I'm pleased that I have this Jesuit business on top, or rather, underneath Catholicism. I'm trying to explain it and struggling. I suppose its like being a mechanic and focusing on magnetos. Even better, more like being an artist but wedded to pastels. That's a better illustration if you'll pardon the expression. Perhaps its that Denis McBride book but there is a lot of art in the Catholic Church from what I can see and I like it. Never very artistic at school and always sceptical of 'artists' or the media type who I always felt should go out and get a proper job.  Compared the Jehovah's Witnesses, this is a very different way of looking at the Bible, they tend t...

  Good morning, I have just been to Buckingham Palace and accepted His Majesty The King’s invitation to form a government in his name. It is only right to explain why I am standing here as your new Prime Minister. Right now our country is facing a profound economic crisis.  The aftermath of Covid still lingers.  Putin’s war in Ukraine has destabilised energy markets and supply chains the world over. I want to pay tribute to my predecessor Liz Truss, she was not wrong to want to improve growth in this country, it is a noble aim.  And I admired her restlessness to create change. But some mistakes were made.  Not borne of ill will or bad intentions. Quite the opposite, in fact. But mistakes nonetheless.  And I have been elected as leader of my party, and your Prime Minister, in part, to fix them. And that work begins immediately. I will place economic stability and confidence at the heart of this government’s agenda.  This will mean difficult decisions to...

 Talks with Boris and Rishi have come to nothing apparently. I think as a party we should be hanging our heads in shame and its nice to see we are. Members are now allowed to vote online due to the timeframe. Which isn't overly fair on elderly voters in my opinion.  But when did the party last care about us or indeed the country? What annoys me is that none of the old boys came forward, no one stepped up. They are just standing by watching this happen. In a way, the selection process maybe to blame due to the lack of loyalty for they choose candidates with no experience in associations and lets face it, parliament is a scaled up parish council.  I think we can all see which way this is going...

 Sir Graham Brady has said this is all going to be sorted within a week, hopefuls need to get a hundred votes and then it will go the members.  The media is crying out for Boris who is coming back early from his holidays with his new girlfriend  wife and mother of his two youngest children.  I keep breaking down in tears, thinking of him and that love story and those blonde haired children and that scruffy rescue dog from the Christmas card he sent me. To see that family back in Downing Street would be like a Disney film. Justice would be served. Stability restored. Lessons learnt.  I wonder if he will. Frankly, why should he? After the way he was treated? If it can turn me off the party I've loved for so long, surely it would do the same to him. Now we've interrupted his holiday.  The media are really pushing for Boris, the same ones that pushed him over the edge. Bless him. We will just have to see what happens. This has certainly got my interest in the p...

 Honestly, she's tiny. Today she has gone.  I did feel sorry for her. She was the anti Rishi vote really because nobody wanted to reward the backstabber.  Watching her resignation speech I could see she was glad to get be getting out of there, the poor woman has probably not slept a wink and will be relieved to have the pressure off.  In all fairness, she did what she said she would do. Cut taxes. Now, I remember her and her chancellor - Kwasi Kwarteng from a book they were involved with together called Britannia Unchanged.  I remember saying to someone that I suspected the appointment of Kwasi was would you believe a political one. Let's go back to Rishi who replaced Sajid. Sajid father was a bus driver - something he liked to keep quiet - joke. He was always on about it. Coming from the May days and thinking he was good in local government (I've heard both sides) he was gone at the beginning of the pandemic.  The appointment of the entirely unheard of Ris...

 Not only do they queue out the door for the Eucharist, they queue up to get in! I got there just as the bells were ringing and my 'best seat in the house' is now routinely taken. I went further the front, only two rows back. What an absolutely packed church. Can't believe it still. Not all old ladies either, or Eastern Europeans either, there's modern young people from all over.  So many children, carrying candlesticks and doing a noticeboard. Its lovely. I just love that church. Talk about a secret club.  The priest notices me you know, one can sense him taking note of my presence.  Last time I was there, when they said Father Patrick was leaving, I heard some hinterland chatter that he would never be replaced, its impossible and we'd all been so lucky and isn't it a shame and things were getting a bit doom gloomy so I distanced myself from the talk. I'm not interested in the ins and outs of the committee etc. But it did make me think, what a shame.  The t...

So, I got another job in the end, a writing job. Which will give me more time at home. That's important as a mother and as a woman.  I went up to Edinburgh and had a handover, thus missing the Tory Party Conference. Well frankly, I'm not sorry. Its all about what they did to Boris. Looking back at the people who I first mixed with, I see they were MPs back in 1966. They are dead now but they taught me so much, firstly vicariously and then, directly. I was a lucky girl and there is a structure and model of behaviour that has lead to the Conservative party being the oldest and most successful political party in the entire world. Although when we compare it to Catholicism, there is a little bit of difference in the longevity, you'd have to say!  I'm noticing a bit of an uprising in Christianity, people are giving off signs, wearing the cross is just one. Perhaps its a fashion statement or a protest against Islam but more likely I think young people are searching out other ...

The Harvest Supper. I thought I’d best pop along, take my housemate Stickers with me. See what its like. As you know the previous event went really well. Nothing could have prepared me for this one.   Having had a lifetime of Tory Party events, you get to know how to have a night out and a raffle. I didn’t dress to the nines. That was my first mistake, the place was packed and everyone looked immaculate. Yes everyone was at least double my age but frankly that’s nothing new and I felt very lucky to be there.  The food was essentially a ham salad with warm potatoes but very nice it was too. Only seven pounds a ticket so I splashed out on six raffle strips with our change. There was wine on the table but I was most amazed at how busy it was.  There was a lovely couple opposite us, Anita and Terry and between us we swapped breakdown stories. I mean automotive breakdowns rather than mental ones !  Prone to overexcitement in the face of post dinner raffles, these ...

 The Queen is dead. Her funeral is today. One day we had a new Prime Minister, the next we had a new King. This cannot be good for our country. How interesting it would be to look and compare country's civil rest/unrest after a change of Monarch. There are always patterns, if we would only think to look for them. Charles, the Prince of Wales as he was. We do all know him and I think that alone will erode much of the 'untouchable' effect that The Queen held. She was the epitome of stability. No one ever called her the ultimate feminist I can't help but notice... For the record I'm very big on the Royal family. Not because of some long seated desire to be a Princess or because they are 'royal'. I love the Windsors because they are a family. One for the whole country to be involved in and to watch the children grow up. Even my daughter said of Princess Charlotte - 'I remember when she was born!' quite funny from a thirteen year old.  One thing that cons...

 If anyone can remember what that is. This is supposed to be a blog of two halves of course but the party is meaning less and less to me. At the time, when I was only sixteen / seventeen it provided an important and welcome moral framework. One which included having your own house. I'd be lying if I said there weren't times that I wondered : Would it not be easier to live in a council house and have everything for free?  Perhaps I'm simplifying it. I'm not though am I? There just isn't the bite on these issues that there used to be. It seems we aren't allowed to criticise anyone anymore, for anything at all ever.  When I first started "in my day" it was fairly clear cut in the Town Council chamber, if you were all for work you were a Tory, if you weren't, you were with Labour who would seemingly vote down any reasonable suggestion purely because a Conservative thought of it. There was one Lib Dem - Sue. Sue was ok, I used to bump into her all over ...

 Let me tell you, you can always make Mass. You simply go to www.mass-online.org  and there will be a Mass happening there and then somewhere in the world. It was around five o'clock in the evening and I was away from home.  Initially I was looking for a 'mass near me' but it was a bit of a struggle and I wasn't entirely sure where I was and was settled and so thought this would be a good idea. Turns out, it was. Dallas, that's where I go for mass online if I miss it here. This man is excellent. At first they were talking about donuts and he is voice is quite frankly hilarious. You simply can't stop listening to it. The church is plain but comes through very well on the screen and they clearly have a multi cam system that also shows the congregation. I did donate ten dollars because its so totally worth it to know that you can just make time for Mass in the evening.    Its not all about God, in many cases its about making time for yourself. You will find God wil...